Monday, January 29, 2007

things have been bad enough~

haiz~

severely lacking in money~

=/

i wonder if i ever have any money to do any new year shopping~

i feel sad~

it is sad that when new year comes~

one has no new clothes~

haiz~

in the past~

when ever its the new year~

the whole family will go out shopping~

ending trip with a bill of abt 1k~

haiz~

forget it~

it wun come back~

argh!

times are ever changing~

there are good~

there are bad~

but why am i always the one in the bad times?

since childhood~

i've been abused like no one's business~

everyday is bloodshed~

i ended up committing suicide when i was in primary 6~

ppl ask~

why did u commit suicide at such a young age?

my reply was~

"i had enough of my dad~

i lived in great stress throughout my entire life~

Everyday was bloodshed~

I was beaten everyday~

at the same spot~

at the same place~

during my primary sch days~

i was forced to continure to study~

even though i was in the top ten within the class~

but i never did study~

I HATED MY DAD~

I played all day~

but my grades never fell~

I'm still top ten~

what more does he want with me?

then there comes the PSLE~

EACH AND EVERY DAY HE STRESSES MORE AND MORE ON ME~

Until one incident~

I was in the bathroom having my shower~

i knew that i was in there for abt 1 hr already~

HE CAME AND KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND ASKED ME TO GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM~

AND WHEN I NEVER CAME OUT 15 MINS LATER~

HE CAME BANGING ON THE DOOR SAYING THAT IF HE DIDN'T KILL ME TODAY HE WON'T HAVE THE SURNAME OF TEO~

i brokedown immediately~

then went to control it~

coz i know if he sees me crying~

It'll be worse~

5 MINS LATER I WENT OUT OF THE BATHROOM~

HE STOOD OUTSIDE HOLDING A CANE~

AND THE MOMENT HE SEES ME~HE HIT ME~

THE CANE HIT EVERY WHERE THAT IS VISIBLE~

I RAN EVERYWHERE WITHIN THE TWO STOREY HSE~

BUT I STILL GOT BEATEN UP~

MY MUM TRIED TO STOP HIM~BUT GOT BEATEN UP ALSO ~

I TOLD MY MUM TO NOT STOP HIM~

I DUN WAN HER TO GET BEATEN UP COZ OF ME~

THEN I FINALLY RAN BACK INTO THE BATHROOM LOCKED THE DOOR AND HID~

I SAW THE KEY INSIDE WITH ME~

AND I WAS RELEIVED FOR A MOMENT~

COZ THE NEXT SECOND~

THE BANGED ON THE DOOR ASKING ME TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM TO CONTINUE BEATING ME~

AND HE SAID THAT IF I WUN OPEN UP~

LATER WHEN I COME OUT~HE’LL CONTINUE HITTING ME~

I CRIED HELL LOT~

BUT WHO CAN SAVE ME?

NO ONE~

THEN I SAW THE PENKNIFE IN THE PLASTIC DRAWER~

I TOOK IT UP~

SLIT MY WRIST~

THEN SUBMERGED MY WRIST IN WATER~

My mum had a spare key~

she opened up the door after my dad went out~

and she saw me in the middle of a blood pool~

she quickly took me out and bandaged me~"

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 11:22:00 pm__


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